What Secrets We Bring
by The DeathBunnie
Summary: **FINISHED!** How does one so unaccustomed to the emotion manage to evok a response from the target? (Rated R for violence, gore, and YAOI-ness) [Zel/Xel] **Believe it or not; Winner BEST OVERALL in the Silk & Stone Tender Rawness Contest.WHEE! **
1. Secrets Brought

Okies, here be a little something I call "proof of my twisted nature." I wrote (er...am writing) it for Silk n'Stone, but lovely EmeraldStar wanted to see it and so...well...lil' me is posting it. For Star. 'Cause Star's my star. 'Cause I always get R&R from her and that makes me happy! Not that I'm forgetting the others that've responded...Thea, DogMatrix, Deathwraith, ShiTiger, Relwarc, Chiizu, Belldandy (Woohoo! I got a response from a goddess!), Tori Yuki Ichimura, chibigwgirl, Sitashi, Amiryn...you guys are the cream in my eye, the apple of my coffee! Wait, is that right? Hold on.....  
  
What Secrets We Bring by The DeathBunnie  
  
Zelgadis cursed vehemently for the fourth time that day. Lost again.  
  
Up ahead, Filia and Xelloss were arguing about the directions. Amelia was trying to mediate the two, while Lina and Gourry fought over some random piece of food. The day was long and was only going to get longer.  
  
"It's getting dark. I'm setting up camp," Zelgadis announced finally, pushing past the argumentative lot towards the shelter of the trees and the solace they offered. The others watched him go, and then shrugged.  
  
"I suppose that would be the best idea. We're going nowhere fast and it's only getting later; there's no telling how far it is until the next town," Lina agreed, confiscating the chicken leg from Gourry in a decisive snatch as she headed off after Zelgadis. The blonde mercenary headed after her, soon followed by the princess. Filia and Xelloss exchanged glances, then (realizing she was alone with the mazokou) she charged off as well.  
  
Xelloss watched them leave, then with a chuckle shrugged and disappeared into thin air.  
  
********************  
  
Their sleeping bags arranged around the small fire, three of the group's members discussed relevant matters, while one sat with the politely blank expression of someone who had no idea what was going on but was completely happy to remain silent about it. The troupe's fifth member was off to the side, sharpening his sword.  
  
"Why don't you join your friends by the fire?" Ah, the sixth..well.perhaps the only way to refer to him was a member, though he was more like the puppy you fed once that wouldn't stop following you. The Trickster Priest hovered in mid-air beside the branch Zelgadis sat on.  
  
"Because I don't want to."  
  
"Why don't you want to?" the annoying voice chimed in once more.  
  
Zelgadis gritted his teeth. "Because I don't." He didn't need this. He never needed it; he especially didn't need it now. Why did he always have to come to him when he could so easily chat with the others?  
  
"That's not a very good answer," Xelloss drew up a bit closer, crossing his legs as he conjured a cup of tea out of the air. "Care for some?"  
  
The chimera actually contemplated it, but glared at the demon in disgust as he saw into the cup. "It's not tea."  
  
Xelloss grinned and laughed in his usual mocking tone. "Of course not. Do you think I actually drink tea? Of course, this isn't the real thing." He inspected the cup of viscous crimson liquid idly, then tossed it back over his shoulder where it simply ceased to exist. "But it does work well for the shock factor, doesn't it?" One purple eye opened in a sort of reverse- wink and he touched a finger to his lips in a secretive gesture.  
  
The chimera simply grunted in disgust and went back to sharpening the blade, this time with greater interest; the better to keep his mind off the annoying demon hovering nearby.  
  
"Of course," the mazokou added, "it would certainly make for more of a shock factor if I simply conjured a scantily-clad virgin and asked if you wanted some, wouldn't it? Like this, see?"  
  
Shocked into disgusted rage that he would actually do this, Zelgadis turned to curse the irritating beast.but he was nowhere to be found - apparently he'd been bluffing. Grumbling, he looked back down at the blade as the priest's voice rang in his ear, "Lighten up, little chimera. You know you're only fun if you're laughing or screaming; at least I'm giving you and the others a choice."  
  
The shaman's eyes narrowed, but he didn't respond, other than drawing the stone across the blade's edge harder.  
  
********************  
  
The next morning came sooner that desired, and Zelgadis and Amelia were hard at work with their arduous task of waking up Gourry and Lina. Filia was already packing up their belongings and rambling politely in case anyone was listening.  
  
"So the best way to Benirun is through the western pass. We'd better get moving before the sun gets too high, otherwise it will be terribly hot," And the stupid mazokou will be around to contradict me she added mentally, huffing beneath her breath.  
  
"Mister Gourry.Miss Lina, please wake up." Amelia shook each of them in turn, finally looking to Zelgadis when all attempts failed.  
  
The chimera, far more used to duo, sighed and tapped his dagger against a rock. "Breakfast is ready," he said clearly in his usual nasal monotone, and, having better foresight than Amelia, he slid to the side to avoid getting trampled as the formerly-sleeping pair were up and ravenously scanning the area for food.  
  
"Breakfast? Here? Where?!" Linda screamed, shoving Gourry out of the way.  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis, you know we don't have any more food," Amelia ventured warily.  
  
Lina and Gourry's frantic fight/search skidded to a halt, and they looked to Zelgadis who merely shrugged. "They're up, aren't they?"  
  
Lina's shoulders shook as she muttered beneath her breath, then pointed an accusing finger at the chimera. "FIREBAAALLL!"  
  
And so another day began.  
  
********************  
  
They'd been walking for hours with no relief in sight, and finally Filia was starting to admit - silently and to herself, of course - that she may indeed have made a slight miscalculation and perhaps they were supposed to be traveling east instead of west. Just a slight miscalculation.  
  
"Are you absolutely certain you're going the right way, Miss Dragon?" Filia froze as the voice chuckled in her ear. He. Was. Right. Behind. Her. "I do distinctly remember saying Benirun was to the east.is it by any means feasible that I was correct?"  
  
Filia screeched and turned, releasing a beam of her dragonic breath in the voice's direction - only to find her traveling companions ducking for cover, confusion and shock on their faces. She muttered an apology, her face beet-red, and turned around once more, hands fidgeting with the hem of her cloak. She knew she had heard him.egh.  
  
"Nice shot, but your aim isn't very good, Miss Dragon. Maybe if you practiced some more.?"  
  
The demon's voice came from behind her again; she clenched her teeth in anger and turned to face him, her hand coming around in a vicious slap - which hurt more than anticipated as it struck against the chimera's stone cheek. He blinked in confusion, completely unphased by the strike. Filia yelped and clutched her bruised hand, tears in her eyes as she apparently ranted to thin air. "Leave me alone!"  
  
"But why.? You're so much fun. Laughing or screaming, ne, Mister Zelgadis?" Phasing in before her just as Filia turned to the front once more, he winked and tilted his head, all smiles as the dragon swooned, wobbled, then quite promptly passed out. "Oh, dear me. That was unexpected."  
  
Zelgadis glared at the demon who was currently prodding the dazed dragon with the end of his staff. Exhaling in a hiss that belied his waning patience, he looked back at the others. "We're turning around. Benirun is to the east." They groaned and muttered their complaints, but the shaman stepped past them and headed back in the direction they'd come from without another word.  
  
Their pace kept up - or, at least, Zelgadis's pace kept up. In fact, the others were steadily falling back; Lina and Gourry were wasting away for the lack of food (for more than four hours) and Amelia.well, with the semi- conscious Filia on her shoulders, it was expected she wouldn't be keeping pace with the others. Xelloss was currently levitating near an increasingly-irritated Zelgadis, whose fists were clenched in an effort to maintain self-control as the priest insisted on taunting and prodding him.  
  
"Ne, Zelgadis." Xelloss started, for once dropping the formalities. The chimera's eyes lifted from the ground to find the priest just in front of him, the freakish amethyst eyes inches from his own making him slightly queasy. "Don't you think you'd be better off without this rag-tag band constantly chasing you around? Always slowing you down, always messing you up."  
  
"What are you getting at?" he retorted, trying to sidestep the demon who merely levitated in front of him once more. "Get. Out. Of. My. Way," growled out between clenched teeth.  
  
"We~elll," the trickster hesitated, then swept over so he was upside down in front of the shaman, their faces level. "Don't you think you'd have found your cure by now if it hadn't been for them always bumbling around, going on about food and money and such.?"  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
"Oh, pah. We both know you don't believe that. How many times have you blamed them for your failure?" Those eyes, formerly in their upturned smiles, now opened a fraction to let the cold purple gleam wickedly. "Ne, Mister Zelgadis?"  
  
That broke it. The normally placid shaman growled and let a punch fly, the rock knuckles scraping across the demon's face cruelly. Xelloss's only reaction was that his head snapped to the side sharply. There was a pause, and his hand raised to the scratch across his white cheek, wiping a few droplets of blood off and then licking it clean. "Nice," he commented with a smirk. "Now how about we kiss and make up?"  
  
Shuddering with revulsion at the thought, he shoved the demon, hard. He may as well have shoved a brick wall, and instead of the demon moving, she shaman found himself flat on the ground on his butt. By now the others had caught up, and Amelia was huffing as she chastised the trickster priest.  
  
"Leave Mister Zelgadis alone, Mister Xelloss. You really have caused enough problems for one day," she added, hefting Filia's weight on her shoulders to exercise her point.  
  
Xelloss pouted and phased out, only to reappear next to a startled Amelia. "If she's so heavy - which I don't doubt; I think she's been putting on a bit of weight -" he grinned, "then by all means, let me help." The scratches across his face now gone, he easily hefted the dragon off the princess's shoulders, and she sighed with relief, rolling her shoulder to relieve the ache in them. Now cradling the stirring girl in his arms, he hummed a jaunty little death march under his breath as he came up along Lina. "So, Miss Lina, do -"  
  
"Xelloss. Shut. Up."  
  
He blinked, then ventured again, nonplussed. "I was going to say, are you -"  
  
Filia woke up, realized where she was - or more specifically whose arms she was in - and started kicking and screaming. Amelia ran over to calm her down, and Gourry fell onto his face.  
  
Lina just lost it.  
  
"FIREBAAALLL!!"  
  
********************  
  
It seemed like an eternity, but they did indeed reach Benirun. Zelgadis had fallen to the rear, his mask up once more, and Gourry trudged in with Amelia holding him up. Perhaps the one getting the most stares was the slightly-charred Xelloss who was currently managing to carry both an equally-charred irate Filia as well as an unconscious Lina at the same time. When they reached the inn, they all flopped into chairs and Xelloss propped his burdens up into their seats as well.  
  
"I don't think it was very fair to make me carry them all this way, you know."  
  
Zelgadis barely spared him a glance. "You shouldn't have made them pass out."  
  
The demon sputtered, blinked, then grinned in his wolfish way, tapping his lips conspiratorially. "I shouldn't have, but I did. That still doesn't designate me as the cart horse."  
  
"I don't see why not."  
  
Xelloss sniffed indignantly, then shrugged and looked to Amelia who had been staring at him since they sat down. "And what say you, my dearest princess?"  
  
Amelia actually blushed, then she shrugged and looked down at the menu before her. "It's nothing, Mister Xelloss. I guess we'd better order some food before Mister Gourry and Miss Lina waste away any more."  
  
All it took was the 'f' word for the two to awaken once more, and thus began the daily battle known as 'eating.' Filia and Amelia soon remembered how hungry they were, and joined in as well, leaving only Xelloss and Zelgadis to retain their dignity. Eventually the chimera stood, pushing his chair back.  
  
"I'm going up to my room," he announced, and left before any protests could be voiced.  
  
Xelloss grinned to himself and cast a look over the others, seeing that they were perfectly preoccupied before he disappeared as well.  
  
********************  
  
Up in his room, Zelgadis fumed. His cloak and shoes off, he lay across his bed and stared up at the ceiling in silent contemplation. Of course he'd blamed the others for his failure, but he knew that was only because he was too angry to blame it on himself. He knew if anyone was to blame, it was himself. It was just that the others were convenient. But he knew better.  
  
How dare that damn fiend try to convince him that it was his friends' fault! All the more reason not to trust the beast further than you could throw him. They still didn't know the exact reason Xelloss had returned to their sides, but the last time it wasn't for good; there was no reason for it to be good this time.  
  
As it was, he'd given up on finding a cure long ago; he simply presented it to the others as his reason to go on. When he sat down to think about it, it seemed obvious that there wasn't really any reason to go on, besides his companions. Not that he'd ever admit that. Still, he wondered if something quieter and less painful lay behind this realm. Something warmer, softer; something.  
  
".peaceful," he murmured out loud, his eyes half-closed.  
  
"Those who wish for peace and find their dreams fulfilled often find themselves sad indeed, little chimera," a voice chimed in right next to his ear.  
  
Zelgadis tensed and sat up abruptly, his unsheathed sword already in his hands. "How did you get in here?"  
  
Xelloss blinked a few times, then crossed his legs where his hovered, laying the staff across his lap. "You should already know the answer to that, I think."  
  
The shaman cursed under his breath; of course, that had been a stupid question, but it had been the first thing that came to mind. "Fine. Nice. Good trick. Now locate the door and get out of my room."  
  
The eternal smile faded to a half-pout for a split second, then the priest landed and spun the staff once, resting it on the floor once more with a soft 'tap.' "I could do that, yes. But I don't think I will. You see, there are more pressing matters to attend to right now with you, if you'll please understand." The demon approached a few feet closer, stopping when the shaman's sword came up to rest on his throat, and the amethyst eyes opened with a mocking shine, eyebrows raising. "What do you plan to do with that, little chimera?"  
  
Sapphire eyes narrowed, and his hands tightened on the hilt. "I plan to run you through with it, if you take a step closer to me, mazokou."  
  
Amusement danced in the demon's gaze and he tilted his chin up somewhat, his hand sliding up his own staff to rest just beneath the crimson gem. "I'm not sure if I believe you'd do that; killing in cold blood isn't your fashion, is it?" He took another step forward brazenly.  
  
A strange smile crossed Zelgadis's face suddenly, almost dreamlike, and he braced the sword as the demon stepped forward, holding to it tightly so that the honed blade held still. Surprise actually registered in the mazokou's cat-like eyes as steel slid through soft flesh, piercing his throat, though the mysterious smile never faltered. Zelgadis continued forward even as Xelloss stopped, pushing until the blade was in completely, the hilt of the sword just under Xelloss's chin, and he growled low. "It isn't my fashion, you're right. But this won't kill you."  
  
Xelloss choked softly, but of course his voice was destroyed thanks to the blade severing his vocal cords. He regarded the blood freely blossoming across the tan tunic in silence, then he suddenly reached up, his left hand closing around Zelgadis's wrist in a vice-like grip. The smile broadened into a sinister grin as a trickle of blood wound its way down the demon's chin, and with a jerk of his arm he forced Zelgadis to twist the sword, furthering the gash in his throat. The chimera's eyes widened in a mixture of disgust and horror as he tried to break free, but while the demon held to his wrist there was no chance of release. Sapphire eyes locked on wicked amethyst ones and the spark between them was almost visible. The sword's blade jerked again, and Zelgadis's eyes widened. He's enjoying it! The sick bastard's enjoying it! He tried to pull free once more, and in a final desperate move he braced his foot against the monster's shoulder, giving him a rough kick which sent them both tumbling, the sword sliding free of flesh with a sickening slish.  
  
Stone fingers shakily pried themselves from the handle of the sword as Zelgadis lay sprawled against the bed, glaring warily at the recovering demon. He watched as the mazokou sat back up gracefully, muscles trembling imperceptibly - not from pain though; that was certain from the husky tone of his voice, audible even though the vocal cords were still knitting themselves back together. "That's twice you've hurt me, little chimera. And you still haven't offered to kiss and make up."  
  
At first, words eluded Zelgadis. Something in the back of his mind was irritated to the point of fury by the fact that this thing kept calling him a 'little chimera,' though other emotions were surfacing as well. What the hell had just happened? Why did Xelloss just stand there? And what the hell was wrong with this guy, thinking they were going to 'kiss and make up?!' Finally, his brain seemed to keep into conscious action again.  
  
"Don't you.ever.try that again, demon."  
  
Xelloss's eyebrows raised, and he chuckled. "You're going to try and convince me that you didn't like hurting me.?"  
  
"I don't think what I caused you just now would be considered 'pain.'"  
  
"No.?" Eyebrows raised, and the priest strode forward once more, stepping on the blade to prevent Zelgadis from bringing it up once more. He kneeled in front of the chimera, their faces inches apart. "Well.I certainly would call it pain. Otherwise, why would I have enjoyed it so very immensely?" he whispered, and without another word pressed his lips to Zelgadis's firmly.  
  
The shaman tensed and reached up to push Xelloss away, but the mazokou's strength was beyond his by far and there was no moving the creature if he didn't wish it. He felt the demon's tongue trace across his lips and shuddered, holding his breath, but when the monster didn't move away he found himself turning blue(er) from lack of air. Parting his lips for a quick gulp of oxygen, he found the opportunity seized by the trickster as his mouth was invaded by a skilled tongue. There was an instant of thrashing, but the demon's hands rose to still the boy's shoulders and movement suddenly ground to a halt.  
  
Zelgadis thought he was going to be sick. Not because of the action itself, but because it was actually.wonderful. Why? A whimper escaped him as his eyes slipped shut, and his fists clenched at his sides as the mazokou moved even closer, settling against his body firmly and completely. The two tongues dueled, Zelgadis's growing bolder and braver, but it was the demon who finally won and pulled the boy's tongue into his mouth with a series of gentle nips. Then, one very hard one.  
  
The chimera jerked reflexively, his growing passiveness suddenly shattered as Xelloss's fangs sliced into his tongue and forced a muffled cry from the shaman, whose struggles started anew. The mazokou pressed insistently against the wriggling chimera whose hands were currently gripping his wrists, the stone skin scratching viciously against the milky-while flesh as he suckled at the lacerated tongue. Eyes opened and met; one pair glinting with twisted lust, one pair full of terrified fury. The kiss ended abruptly and Xelloss licked Zelgadis's trembling lips almost lovingly before whispering, "I had a feeling you weren't completely covered in stone. Next time, my beautiful little chimera, we'll have even more fun, ne?" He flashed that secret smile before suddenly disappearing without a trace, save for the blackish blood that was puddled on the floor and smeared across the shaman's pristine white robes.  
  
Dazed and shaking, Zelgadis attempted to stand but found himself far too dizzy - from either lack of blood or lack of control, though he was suspicious it was the latter of the two. What the hell just happened? He managed to get back up onto the bed and lean back against the wall, eyeing his shaking hands nervously. What the hell had just happened?  
  
Xelloss made him hurt him.  
  
What the hell had just happened?  
  
Xelloss had attacked him.  
  
What the hell had just happened?  
  
Xelloss had kissed him.  
  
What the hell had just happened?  
  
Xelloss had..wait. Xelloss had just kissed him. Xelloss had just kissed him?  
  
Xelloss had just kissed him!  
  
And that was all that happened, as Zelgadis's eyes rolled back and he passed out. 


	2. Secrets Kept

Oh my god...people are actually reading this! That's a bit scary. O.o And y'know, it occurs to me that I don't have a single disclaimer on even ONE of my fics. Uhm. That being said, I'd like to make it a point to disclaim everything right now. It's not my fault. I mean, technically it is, but only in the sense that I put the characters together to make them do naughty things, not in the sense that I made them (thus creating yummy guys that aren't possible to own...how cruel!). So, no. It's not my fault.  
  
And yes, the bunnies are indeed coming.  
  
What Secrets We Bring by The DeathBunnie  
  
"Zel!"  
  
He heard an insistent pounding and dismissed it as the background noise of his subconscious.  
  
"Zel!"  
  
The pounding grew louder, and he groaned softly, hands rising to shield his eyes from the light he just now noticed was streaming through the window.  
  
"ZEL!!"  
  
Ther was a muffled conversation, ending with, "Here, let me try."  
  
And with that, the door burst down in sending Lina and Amelia sprawling across the floor, Filia standing demurely behind them with mace in hand.  
  
Lina leaped to her feet once more and stomped over to the prostrate shaman, whacking him in the back of the head with her fist - and muffling her yelp of pain afterwards. "You boob! You had us worried sick! You didn't come down for breakfast and your door was locked. We could hear you groaning in here like you were hurt but you wouldn't answer the door. What's wrong with you?!"  
  
His face rested in the crook of his elbow, he mumbled against the pillows.  
  
"What?" Lina started to thump him again, but thought better of it.  
  
"I said," he repeated, raising his head just a bit so that his voice would be somewhat clearer, "there's no need to scream like a maniac. I'm perfectly capable of getting up whenever I choose."  
  
"He's right, Miss Lina. We don't have to come banging on his door when he's not up at the perfect time," Amelia started, but trailed off as the sorceress's glowering gaze settled on her. "But you did give us quite a scare; it's not like you to be so late, Mister Zelgadis," she quickly scolded him, backing away from Lina's volatile temperament.  
  
"You're damn right," Lina agreed, stamping her foot. "Not to mention we're already monstrously far behind on the day because of this, so get up already!" She jerked the bed hard, shaking the shaman from his train of thought, or trying to, at least.  
  
What was that? Sapphire eyes slid closed once more as he lapsed into reverie. What was the damned fiend trying to pull with that stunt last night? He remembered the calm smile on those lips, the strange way his head canted, just so, as the blade slid in. And blood..so much blood. Wait. That thought seemed to jerk him to reality; there was black blood all over the floor and his clothes; what were they going to think?!  
  
"Eeeuw.Mister Zelgadis, what is this?" Amelia's voice chimed in at just the right moment, and he sat up abruptly, following her gaze as she picked up his shirt from off the floor - strange, he didn't remember removing it. Her nose wrinkled as she showed it to Lina, and the two blinked at it in unison.  
  
He grabbed the bloody shirt from them harshly and opened his mouth to explain - then stopped. There was no blood on the shirt, only a rather icky splotch on the shoulder. Apparently he'd been targeted by a passing bird the previous day. Lina and Amelia were looking at him as though he'd just sprouted a second head, and Filia finally stepped into the room, eyebrows raised. "Are you.feeling alright?"  
  
His gaze swept to her suddenly, almost manic with relief, and he looked back to Lina and Amelia.and down to their feet where the demon had bled all over the floor; there wasn't a trace. A cursory examination of his hands and chest showed he was free of stains as well, and that meant -  
  
"- it was a dream!" he blurted out.  
  
The three girls exchanged glances, and then sidled towards the door apprehensively. "Right." Lina paused, then nodded. "We'll be waiting downstairs for you, then, so.uhm.please hurry." And with that, the three disappeared out the door, mumbling confusedly among themselves.  
  
So it had been a dream. Oh, thank whatever gods were watching over him! He still wasn't pleased with the prospect of dreaming about kissing the animal, but it was a great deal better than having actually done it. Feeling slightly elated, he quickly dressed and gathered his few personal items before leaving, giving the room one last - worried - glance before closing the door.  
  
***************************  
  
From somewhere, someplace, the mazokou watched the troupe as they started off on their journey once more, now delving deeper into the city towards the capital. He smiled secretly, tapping their reflections and sending ripples across the surface of the scrying bowl - as he watched them in contemplation. His fingers rose to where Zelgadis's blade had pierced his throat and chuckled softly, turning away from the reflective and softly glowing surface of the bowl.  
  
"Nothing but a dream, my beautiful little chimera. Nothing but a dream."  
  
He stepped forward, and with a rather depressing lack of ceremony or 'pizzazz,' was gone.  
  
***********************  
  
Munching on an apple, Lina squinted at the town map she held; this street plan of Benirun was horribly confusing. She'd seen mazes with fewer dead ends and u-turns. Turning the map once, twice, and finally a full one- hundred-eighty degrees, she sighed and handed it over to Amelia and Filia who looked at it with the same mounting confusion. Amazingly enough, it was Gourry who came to their rescue.  
  
"Don't you think we could simply ask someone?" he queried, scratching the back of his head as he peered over the map holders shoulders.  
  
Amelia and Filia exchanged glances, then looked up at Lina who grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I suppose that would be an idea. Yeah. Sure." Everyone peered around to find someone who looked suitable for stopping, but found instead everyone staring at them. The group looked to one another for support, finally shrugging in confusion as Lina muttered, "What's their problem?"  
  
It was then that Gourry, whose brain capacity was apparently at its highest at the moment (must be some kind of moon phase or something), decided to point out the obvious once more. "They're looking up, actually."  
  
Realizing the truth in his statement, the other four looked up to the skies, to find a purple-haired mazokou hovering overhead, biting his knuckles to keep from laughing out loud. Laughter which cut off with a pouting yelp as the remaining half of Lina's apple flew forward and bonked off his head.  
  
"Xelloss, you dink! How long have you been up there?" the sorceress seethed.  
  
He seemed to think about this a moment, then shrugged, landing lightly next to her and kissing her forehead. "That, dearest, is a secret."  
  
She blinked at the kiss, did a full-body blush, then reared back and walloped him across the face - or attempted to; the demon's hand effortlessly halted the blow, and his lips curled into a frighteningly sinister grin. "Now now," he chided, his voice low so that only she could hear, "what would my lover think if someone else was hitting me? Jealousy would simply run rampant." Amethyst eyes opened as Lina stared at him, dumbfounded, but in an instant the wicked look was gone and he was back to his usual - annoying - self. Turning back to the group who had been watching the exchange in confusion, he held his hands out in a surrendering shrug. "So, I'm forced to show you to the capital since you can't read maps, apparently."  
  
"Well.Mister Xelloss, no one's really forcing you to," Amelia started, smiling sheepishly. She didn't relish the monster's presence any more than the others, but she was too polite to be rude.  
  
"And no one needs you to," Filia added, snatching the map from Amelia's yielding hands adamantly.  
  
Lina seemed to finally recover from Xelloss's strange encounter, and she stomped over. "Like hell! Xelloss, lead the way. We'd better be there in thirty minutes or I'm Dragon Slaving you back to whatever dungeon dimension you wiggled out of!"  
  
Nodding sheepishly, Xelloss took up the lead for a while, though he eventually dropped back to walk alongside Zelgadis who was making quite an effort to pretend not to notice his presence. Finally the mazokou waved a hand in front of his face. "Is something wrong, Mister Zelgadis?"  
  
Swatting the hand away irritably, Zelgadis refused to comment and instead picked up his pace to put some distance between himself and the demon. Xelloss grinned to himself at this reaction - particularly at the mild blush that had tinted the chimera's cheeks almost unnoticed - and he sped up as well, keeping pace with the boy's long strides.  
  
"If I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to avoid me. That would hurt my feelings terribly."  
  
At first there was the usual silence, but sapphire eyes cast a furtive glance towards the trailing mazokou and he grumbled. "Must not be hurting them bad enough. You're still here."  
  
"Oh, I'm wounded! And you're such a grouch today. What's wrong, Mister Zelgadis?" He switched staff hands and fell back behind the shaman slightly - mostly so that the unrestrained amusement on his face wouldn't be seen. "Didn't you sleep well last night?"  
  
Zelgadis's gaze faltered back to the mazokou with a startled - or was that guilty? - glance, and at that moment a stone caught under his foot and sent him stumbling forward onto Amelia.almost. Xelloss caught the teetering shaman an instant before his balance went critical, holding him upright with on steel-strong hand which was immediately shrugged off.  
  
"Never touch me," he growled between clenched teeth, not even bothering to help the ruffled Amelia who had probably seen her entire short life pass by before almost meeting her death beneath a few hundred pounds of clumsy chimera.  
  
"What's wrong with Mister Zelgadis?" queried the shaken princess as Xelloss helped her up.  
  
"I can't imagine," replied the demon with his usual smile, helping her dust off.  
  
*************************  
  
Their journey proved fruitless despite the mazokou's guidance; there never was a copy of the original manuscript they were looking for in the city of Benirun no matter what the group of thieves had said. It seemed like they'd never find the stupid spell to break the seal! Of course, it was only just now that Xelloss decided to confirm that information.  
  
"You mean you knew all along there wasn't a copy of the manuscript here?" Beside herself with rage, Lina shook the demon violently. "Why didn't you tell us? Why did you let us trudge all the way here through a barren wasteland across a dessert for miles and miles and then just -"  
  
"Desert, Miss Lina," Xelloss pointed out.  
  
She blinked at him stupidly. "What?"  
  
"Desert. You crossed a desert. You said dessert."  
  
She face-faulted then stormed off. "That's because all this yelling has made me hungry. Come on, let's get something to eat. Then you've got some explaining to do, got that?"  
  
The mazokou allowed himself to be drug along passively, resignedly, and the others followed behind. Sure, they'd only eaten two hours ago, but when the sorceress was in this kind of a mood it was just best to follow her wherever she wanted to go.  
  
**************************  
  
"You told us we needed to come here," Lina growled between bites of food. "Why?"  
  
Xelloss watched her inhale the victuals ravenously. "Because you do need to come here."  
  
"But there's no copy of the spell here!"  
  
"I never said there was."  
  
She shot a glare at the trickster, then gave up. "So we need the spell, but it's not here, but we still need to be here for something. And that something is a secret, I'll bet."  
  
"You're very smart, Miss Lina."  
  
"No, I'm just starting to get used to you, is all."  
  
Filia was watching the demon carefully. She didn't know what had been said between the two of then earlier when Lina had tried to hit him, but it was obviously something stark enough to shock the normally solid girl profoundly. Xelloss felt the glare and turned to face the dragon, who simply went back to sipping her tea.  
  
"How can we know what we have to be here for if you won't tell us, Mister Xelloss?" Amelia ventured timidly, prodding at her cake with her fork.  
  
"Oh, I dare say you'll figure it out eventually. You know, my hands really are tied," he added with his best hint of an apology. "Maybe if we took a trip down to the lakeside? I've been told that Benirun's lakes are famous for their beauty."  
  
Well, that was as good an indication as they could hope to get from the priest, especially since they were now hopelessly off-course. Zelgadis, however, wasn't in the mood for any more of the demon's games.  
  
"If there's nothing there, you're going to regret it."  
  
Xelloss smirked, then waved a hand impassively. "It's not like you to make threats. Besides, killing in cold blood isn't you fashion, is it?"  
  
Zelgadis grew pale suddenly and he stood up, leaving the table without another word. The others watched him go - even Lina managed to look up from her food - and then everyone looked back to Xelloss who shrugged in an adorable display of innocent confusion.  
  
"Well, I thought I was complimenting him."  
  
*******************************  
  
That's twice now! Twice! Was it possible that it wasn't a dream? No, there's no way. It just has to be a coincidence, that's all. But still.  
  
Zelgadis stormed through the woods towards the lake determinedly, hands clenched into fists. The sooner he found out what was at this stupid lake, the better. Then they could get out of here and maybe for once they'd stop following the advice of that stupid trickster priest. Priest. Ha! How could he even think of calling himself that.  
  
He emerged from the treeline and headed towards the shore of the lake, stopping at the edge to look out over the water.nothing! Not a trace of anything as far as the eye could see. Just water, trees and sky. Still, he had to admit that the demon was right; this place was serenely beautiful.  
  
Then there was the weight of hands on his shoulders, and a warm breath washed over the pointed shell of his ear. "Beautiful, isn't it?"  
  
Growling, he turned with his hand in a fist, the punch connecting hard with the demon's face. There was a moment of silence, then Xelloss took the chimera's wrist and jerked him around viciously so that Zelgadis's back was to him once more. To stunned to react, he simply tensed as he felt the mazokou's arms wrap around him from behind. A chin rested on his shoulder, and Zelgadis could almost see the haughty smirk on the pale face. "The water is so clear. It's as smooth and reflective as glass."  
  
Instinctively, Zelgadis looked down as the priest spoke. His eyes widened as he saw his reflection in the water.  
  
Behind him stood Xelloss, tall and thin, his eyes glowing an eerie amethyst in the reflection of the dark water. The arms were somewhat longer, as was the hair, and he could see that the slender hands that wrapped around his stomach were tipped in long, sharp claws. A shadowy set of wings rose above him, shimmering and barely visible, and the lips were curled in a contented "cat-that-ate-the-canary" grin, revealing razor-sharp incisors beneath the pale lips.  
  
The figure in the demon's arms, however.  
  
In the demons arms, it must be him.but the skin was pale and smooth. There was no trace of stone, and the blond hair fell softly around his shoulders. Reflected in the water's surface was a human, perfectly normal and completely beautiful. The human wrapped in the demon's arms was flawless without a hint of the chimera's deformities.he was cured. 


	3. Secrets Denied

First off, my apologies for being a lazy ass and not getting this onto FF.net for an eternity. As one immortal so nicely put it in Hsui Yu Chi; "Your subject deserves to die one thousand deaths! Your subject deserves to die one thousand deaths!" Er. Maybe not one thousand, though. At least 20, though, I'd say.  
  
Anyway.... :-:insert evil laughter here:-: How dare you ever think Chapter 2 was the end? Mwa ha ha! A happy ending? Me? Never! I just don't go for the easy way out; we need some emotional torment for anything to turn out good. Yeah, I'm twisted. But that's why you're reading this, isn't it? :P  
  
So.....on with the show!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
What Secrets We Bring, Chapter 3  
  
  
  
Perfect. Perfect.  
  
Everything was forgotten in that moment; he couldn't see the trees or the water, couldn't see the grass beneath him, the sky above him, or the demon wrapped around him. All he knew was that he was human once more, and his eyes were glued on the apparition-like reflection of his fully human form in the water.  
  
"Beautiful, beautiful," a voice whispered in his ear. He jumped, tearing his eyes from his own reflection to look back over his shoulders. Xelloss was still wrapped tightly around him from behind, head resting snugly on his shoulder. "Incredibly beautiful, I have to admit. Still, not as beautiful as the real you, though."  
  
"Real me....?" the chimera murmured dazedly as he turned back to the reflection.  
  
"Real you, my pretty little chimera," the priest whispered mysteriously as he feathered a trail of soft kisses down Zelgadis's neck. "Real you. The person in the water is not you. The beautiful creature I'm holding in my arms right now....that is the real you."  
  
Zelgadis blinked, then looked down at his hands. Indeed, they were still covered with the rippling blue stone he'd come to despise over the years. Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared back down into the water longingly. "No....that's not the real me. I'm human. I'm human." His fists clenched angrily, and he jerked free of the demon's arms, whirling to face him. "I'm human, damn you! That's the real me!" He pointed a finger trembling with anger at the prefect vision in the water.  
  
Purple eyebrows rose questioningly at the outburst and there was a moment of silence, then the priest shrugged and stepped closer to the water's edge. Head canted in an expression of curiousity, he stared idly at his own mysteriously-inhuman reflection. "Is that so?"  
  
"YES!" The shaman was beyond furious for some reason he couldn't quite fathom. What was it about this guy that brought him so inexplicably to his wits end?  
  
"I think you're wrong," Xelloss intoned as he prodded the water's surface with the end of his staff idly. "But," he held up a hand to halt Zelgadis's next outburst, "but only because you aren't thinking clearly. Let's use a trick you taught me called logic, shall we?"  
  
Zelgadis glared at the trickster - the very notion of this guy manipulating logic was frightening indeed. His gaze wandered down to the water once more, taking in the human reflected there. Blue eyes scanned the water, eventually finding themselves transfixed by the terrifingly, sublimely beautiful image cast on the water by the demon. It was shadowy, and the features could barely be made out, but it was obviously him and obviously not human. Was this what he really looked like?  
  
Seeing the chimera's attention diverted to his own reflection, Xelloss prodded the water with his staff harder, making the image indiscernible. "Please pay attention class," he tutted amusedly. Zelgadis glared at him, but he continued on. "Who is the reflection in the water?"  
  
"It's me, you -"  
  
"And you really believe that you could possibly be who you are now if you were still that person?" the demon cut in.  
  
"I AM still that person."  
  
"Wrong answer, little chimera. As you stand before me, you are someone else entirely when compared to the reflection you cast." Xelloss grinned maliciously as he added, "The creature in the water is dead and long gone. You are all that remains. Give it up; you'll never be that person again, not after all you've been through."  
  
The anger was building inside Zelgadis, mostly because he knew that the mazokou was right; of course he was right. The human that was once Zelgadis died the instant the monstrosity that is now Zelgadis was 'born.'  
  
The glare between the two sent an almost tangible air of pure intensity through the atmosphere. Slow dawning crossed the chimera's features as his mind splintered and Xelloss's grin widened. Boldly, he took a step forward and closed the distance between them as his gloved hands rose to clasp lightly to the shaman's face. Zelgadis remained frozen where he stood, emotions flickering randomly across the normally-stoic face.  
  
"All mine...." the mazokou whispered as his lips pressed against the cold stone forehead.  
  
Then he stopped, eyes opening in shock and pain.  
  
"Not yours," came the growled reply as Zelgadis gave the dagger now embedded in the demon's stomach a rough twist. "Not yours. Never yours, damn you!" Pulling the blade back out, he stabbed again....and again. And again. He kicked Xelloss in the chest, drawing a pained - and shocked - croak of protest from him, and grabbed the mazokou by the throat as he continued to stab savagely. "I'm human!" he screamed, stone fist slamming into the milk-white cheek before his left arm continued the mindless barrage of slashes, muscles cording and flexing as the knife plunged incessantly with each scream. "I'm human! I'm human!"  
  
Somewhere in the back of his mind, the enraged chimera could hear screams. At first he though them to be coming from the damnable mazokou beneath him, and in response he only increased the violence with even more enthusiastic twists and tears, but soon he felt a hand on his wrist and the next downward stab brought forward a person that was clinging to his arm. Releasing Xelloss's throat he grabbed the new figure - another demon freak - and brought the blade down, his grin broadening at the agonized shriek it produced. Not nearly satisfied, he brought the blade up again -  
  
"Burst round!"  
  
Growling, he dropped the injured demon and stood, coughing as the smoke invaded his lungs. When the air cleared, he could see two more demons waiting to attack, and a third was tending to its wounded companion. His vision was hazy through its cloud of red, but as he peered at the newcomers he saw something familiar. Flames were coming out of one of their heads, whipping around and....wait, no....it wasn't flames. It was hair. Flame red hair. The others had long golden hair. One was screaming at him.  
  
"Zelgadis, what the hell are you doing?! Is she okay?" Filia nodded as she murmured the healing spell beneath her breath from where the blade had pierced Amelia's right shoulder, and Lina turned back to the panting chimera once more, uncertainty in her eyes. "What the hell was that? Shit...is Xelloss okay? Can you help him, Filia?"  
  
The healing spell complete, she started to bandage the young princess's sore shoulder. "White healing spells won't work on mazokou. He's on his own."  
  
Nodding, Lina continued, "Gourry, go see if you can help him." The swordsman nodded and headed over in Xelloss's direction, but Lina never took her eyes off Zelgadis. Eventually she headed towards him, cautiously, and came to a stop about six feet from him. "Zelgadis?"  
  
His gaze had been firmly fixed on the injured Amelia, but her words seemed to bring him out of his reverie. "What...?"  
  
"Zelgadis, are you alright? Are you injured?"  
  
Mind still reeling, it took moment for her words to sink in. Eventually he blinked stupidly. "Why...do you ask?"  
  
She gestured to him and he looked down; of course, it would have been impossible to tell if he had been hurt. His white robes were covered in the sickly black-cherry blood of the demon, and the parts that weren't bloody were stained with mud from the lakeshore.  
  
"I'm...not hurt," he murmured dazedly, and Lina nodded. "I'm okay now," he added for general purposes.  
  
Lina nodded and went back to where a mostly recovered Amelia was just sitting up. The princess looked over to Zelgadis, but the shaman couldn't bring himself to meet her gaze. She sighed, and looked to where Gourry was kneeling next to a strained Xelloss.  
  
"My, that...that was...unexpected," the priest wheezed painfully, though he was still managing to smile somehow.  
  
"What happened?" Lina queried, the tone of her voice making it obvious that the answer had most definitely better not be a secret.  
  
"I was...just...showing Mr. Zelgadis...the lake..."  
  
"And that's all?"  
  
"Well...I..." he paused, coughing up blood with a painful mutter in an indecipherable language. "I thought...about showing him...the nude pictures I...have of Miss Dragon..."  
  
"WHAT!?" came the expected shriek, but Lina waved the seething Filia aside as she fixed her eyes on the demon once more.  
  
"You're never serious and I've never cared, but Amelia was hurt so let me make this very clear: if there's ever a time you feel you might even think about being serious, I assure you that this is it. Got it?"  
  
Xelloss watched her a moment, then closed his eyes once more. "My apologies...Miss Lina...but it's still secret."  
  
Lina's eyes darkened and she stood, fists clenched in anger as the demon disappeared without a trace. She looked to the three near her, then back to Zelgadis and sighed. "We're heading back to the inn. Now."  
  
Gourry nodded and gingerly picked up the protesting Amelia while Filia approached the chimera cautiously. "Do you need help, Mister Zelgadis?" she offered feebly.  
  
Zelgadis looked at her in tense silence, then to Lina. His eyes fell and lingered on the blood-soaked clothing.  
  
Then he passed out.  
  
************************  
  
Back in his nowhere realm, Xelloss leaned heavily against the wall as he peeled off his cloak and tunic. His staff had been discarded carelessly on the floor and he laid his head back, staring up into the blackness that was the ceiling above. Why was this so difficult? He loved the chimera so much...it was only right to make the chimera love him in return.  
  
But the chimera wouldn't love him. Couldn't love him.  
  
His hand went down, slamming into the wall behind him as he slid down into a crouch. Arms curled around the mutilated white flesh of his stomach and he glared icy death at the floor. Zelgadis would love him. Zelgadis would love him. He would make him love him. Xelloss knew what he wanted, and he always got what he wanted. He wanted to love, and if he couldn't make the chimera love him then by all that was unholy he would break the little angel's mind into so many fragments that the greatest psionic in the world wouldn't be able to put it back together again.  
  
In the darkness of his domain, in the infinite blackness of his limbo, Xelloss smiled.  
  
**********************  
  
Zelgadis was drowning. He couldn't breathe, and he couldn't see through the water that was keeping him from taking the gasp of air he so desperately desired. The surface was nowhere in sight; he kept swimming in what he thought was up, but the black water around him made it useless to open his eyes. Suddenly, salvation.  
  
He felt hands grab his shoulders and pull, jerking him to the surface where he gasped hungrily for air. His vision was muddled, but soon it cleared enough for him to see the alien sky that was a writhing mass of black and blue. There were no stars, but in the clouds he could see figures, screaming faces and flailing limbs. Beneath him, the ocean he was drowning in was a churning sea of blood, crimson-foamed waves crashing maliciously beneath him as though in an attempt to reclaim its captor. He faltered where he floated in mid-air, and his hands clasped the wrists of his savior feverishly as he looked up, his eyes meeting with a cold amethyst glow.  
  
The figure in front of him, holding him up and supporting him, was so familiar, but he couldn't place it. It was terrifying and beautiful, hellish and angelic. He could feel the slightest prick of the talons on his shoulders, and a serpentine haze of smoke wound up the lithe frame. Long arms, long neck, delicate body. The figure leaned in so their faces were only inches apart, and - as the pale lips curled into a razor-fanged grin, as the long tendrils of silky purple hair brushed against his forehead - he felt the cold leather embrace of wings wrap around his form...  
  
"All mine..." 


	4. Secrets Revealed

Zelgadis jerked violently awake with a scream, sat panting for air, then collapsed back down on the sweat-soaked sheets as the others rushed to his side. They exchanged worried glances as he sobbed brokenly, mumbling incoherently beneath his breath. Lina kneeled next to him, placing a hand hesitantly on his shoulder as she tried to make out his faint words.  
  
"...not his...I'm not his...please let me go..."  
  
Looking up at the others in confusion, she gave Zelgadis a gentle shake to gain his attention. "It's okay, Zel. You're here with us, now. See? Who are you so afraid of?"  
  
"...him...it's him...and I'm not his, I swear. I can't be..."  
  
Lina was stumped; what was there to do? Sitting on the bed next to him, she gingerly drew him into her arms and rocked him, looking over to Filia. "Get him some water, okay?"  
  
Filia nodded and rushed off, and Amelia sat on the other side of Zelgadis. "Mister Zelgadis? It's okay, okay? Look, I'm all better now, and we got you some new clean clothes so there's nothing to worry about. No one's going to hurt you. We're -"  
  
"Shut up!" Zelgadis's pupils were dialated, crazed, and he jerked free of Lina's grasp to stumble to his feet. The wavering gaze shifted between the two and he turned, half stumbling and half running out the door.  
  
"Here's -" But Filia was cut off and shoved to the floor as Zelgadis pushed her aside, and the bowl of water ended up all over the poor dragon, leaving her staring in confusion at the two girls on the bed. The three looked between each other, then they jumped to their feet and followed the chimera outside.  
  
******************  
  
The shaman dashed blindly through the woods. He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't care so long as it was away from everyone. The demon in his dreams was destroying his soul - there was nowhere to hide from that, but he could at least hide from the others so that he didn't hurt them. Where was he headed? This all looked so familiar...too familiar...  
  
He burst out of the treeline into the clearing of the lakeshore. Collapsing to all fours, he panted for breath as he tried to realign his racing thoughts. The demon in his dreams was destroying his soul - there was nowhere to hide from that. He could always stop sleeping, that was the cure. How long would his sanity last without sleep? Slamming a fist into the soft sand, he let out a scream of frustration.  
  
"Do you really think the innocent sand deserved that, my beautiful little chimera?"  
  
Zelgadis's eyes shot up with an animalistic growl at the mazokou's voice and he rose to his feet, fists clenched tight in fury. "I think you deserve it."  
  
"Do you really believe that?"  
  
His fists tightened. He wanted nothing more than to slam that fist into the sly grin of the demon right then and there...but that's what he wanted, wasn't it? Dammit! Clutching his head as though he were in pain he collapsed to his knees once more, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Why are you doing this to me?!"  
  
Why? Do you have to ask? Sighing, the demon kneeled next to him. "Because I love you, my dear, beautiful chimera. I love you more than you can imagine. Can't you love me?"  
  
"...no..." game the growled reply.  
  
Xelloss seemed thoughtful for a moment, then his face hardened. "Why not?"  
  
Why? Do you have to ask? Another low growl, and Zelgadis's muscles tensed. "Because you disgust me."  
  
"I see." Xelloss examined his nails carefully, then reached down and grabbed Zelgadis by the throat.  
  
Jerked up to Xelloss's face height, Zelgadis found himself staring into the violet eyes of the demon from his dreams. Long talons traced along the stones embedded in the chimera's face as the thin lips brushed against his forehead, and Zelgadis thought he would be violently sick. Possibly violent and sick. "You don't find me beautiful, as I find you beautiful, my love?"  
  
The question was rhetorical, it had to be. With the deceptively strong hands cutting off his oxygen supply there was no way the demon could possibly expect him to speak. However, when Zelgadis refused to reply - outside of the desperate gasps for air, that is - the horrifically beautiful face contorted in anger and his grip tightened. "You will love me," he hissed mercilessly as he slammed the shaman back against a tree hard enough to send a crack down the trunk.  
  
"That's about enough of that, pal."  
  
Lina and the others stood ready for battle, the sorceress wearing her usual sardonic grin. "So who sent you? Lemmee guess, someone who wants us dead? Why does everyone want us dead? It seems so unfair."  
  
The demon's eyes narrowed and tattered leather wings gave an irritated flutter as he turned to face the group. "Leave us be, Miss Lina. This doesn't concern you."  
  
The redhead blinked, then her eyes widened in recognition. "X...Xelloss?!"  
  
A grin curled the sinfully beautiful lips and he drew Zelgadis close.  
  
"Xelloss?! No way!" Amelia was wide-eyed in shock, and she looked to Filia for support; unfortunately, the dragon looked as though she'd just swallowed something quite nasty.  
  
The silence that pervaded the air was almost tangible as the demon continued to stroke the chimera's hair affectionately, and he finally cooed to the group before him. "Did you really think that was my real body?"  
  
His voice seemed to snap Lina back to recognition, and her eyes narrowed. "I didn't give it much thought. Now what are you doing with Zelgadis?"  
  
Xelloss's eyes narrowed dangerously. "He's mine...all mine."  
  
"...no...not his...please no..."  
  
All eyes swiveled to the chimera who was swinging in and out of conciousness, and Lina slid the pieces together. "You've...you've been torturing him." Xelloss's grin widened, if possible. "Why!?"  
  
A nonchalant shrug was given, and one of the razor-sharp talons slid across the chimera's cheek drawing a thin line of crimson. "Because he's mine. He's not yours-" he glared to the dragon, "-not yours-" a glance to Lina, "- and he most definitely has no interest in you," the last comment was directed to Amelia as a forked tongue snaked out to lap the blood now trailing from the tiny scratch.  
  
"He has no interest in you, either," Lina noted sourly.  
  
"SILENCE!" Xelloss roared as he clutched the chimera tighter, drawing a sharp gasp as ribs broke. A glance was cast to the chimera - the beautiful creature's pain was delicious - and then he looked back to the sorceress. "I don't care. I don't need his...interest."  
  
"Then what do you need?"  
  
Still stroking the chimera's body casually, he drug a line across the boy's throat, the claws cutting through the skin and shirt as he continued down the chest. "I need his pain. I need his mind." He looked back to the troupe who appeared to be digesting this, and he let out a sinister laugh. "Did you think I was hanging around the lot of you for the sheer joy of your company?"  
  
"...don't love you...h-hate you..."  
  
The burning eyes fixed their attention on the chimera once again as he added hatefully, "I know you don't, but I'll still have you." He looked back to Lina who appeared to be reciting the beginnings of a spell, then he vanished with Zelgadis hovering on the edge of unconciousness in his arms.  
  
********************  
  
"My beautiful one...my little chimera."  
  
Zelgadis groaned softly. Every part of his body ached, every fiber of his being was pain. His eyes slowly opened to find Xelloss, now as human as he could manage to look, standing in front of him. Reaching out, the demon smoothed a hand across the shaman's face, down his neck and chest and around his waist as he moved forward to press his lips to those of the restrained boy, hesitating millimeters away.  
  
"Tell me you love me, my beautiful one."  
  
Zelgadis's glare never wavered, never waned. "...hate you..." he croaked. Was that his voice? It sounded terrible, like he hadn't spoken in ages.  
  
The slap resounded throughout the blackness surrounding them, and Xelloss pushed into the kiss forcefully, brutally, his fingers curling in the silver hair to jerk his captive's head back sharply. Breaking the 'kiss,' he curled the fingers of his free hand around the vulnerable throat and squeezed. "Tell me you love me."  
  
"...go to hell..."  
  
Xelloss laughed, squeezing the throat harder until the windpipe was on the verge of collapsing. His voice was a hiss, pure evil. "Where do you think we are now, beautiful little chimera?"  
  
*************** 


	5. Secrets Bound

And now...the stirring conclusion to "What Secrets We Bring." Please hold your applause until the end. You might want to hold it after the end, too. O.o  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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"Wha...what?" Zelgadis's vision was blurred, his mind was hazy. Had the mazokou just said they were...in hell?  
  
"Not really, of course," the demon cooed, continuing to pet the chimera as though he were some kind of exotic cat. "Drama, I see, is quite lost on you. We're actually in my home, where you shall be spending the rest of your life. With me."  
  
Clearing himself somewhat, the shaman's eyes narrowed. "I won't stay with you."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"..."  
  
"I see. You truly do not love me, then?"  
  
"..."  
  
"I...see." There was silence for what seemed like an eternity, then the gloved hands reached up to cup the chimera's face tenderly. "Why can't you love me, as I love you?"  
  
Shuddering under the trickster's touch, Zelgadis tried to pull away. "Because I cannot love something without a soul. Because you don't love me; you're just playing with me."  
  
"Do you think you know me so well?"  
  
Zelgadis couldn't help but look shocked; he was crying! The damnable demon was crying! Blackish-red blood, but tears nonetheless. "Xelloss..."  
  
"Shut up! You're like all of them!" The slap was hard enough to send the chimera's head spinning, dancing on the verge of unconsciousness. "'You're a monster! You can't love anything!' That's what they all say. They don't know me and neither do you!" That last bit had been screamed into the shocked chimera's face and now Zelgadis remained quiet, stunned by the emotional outburst. Xelloss wasn't finished yet, though. "It's not as though I haven't tried; I've attempted to be mysterious, mischievous, funny, cruel, caring...nothing works. They never love me, and neither do you. But you...I can make you love me. I can make you love me..."  
  
Something in the way the demon's voice wavered worried Zelgadis, who feared he had to regain some semblance of control before something very bad happened. "Maybe they were afraid of you, that's all. Kidnapping isn't the best way to start a relationsh-"  
  
"And are you afraid of me?" Xelloss hissed, amethyst eyes narrowing. "Is that it? I haven't given you anything to be afraid of yet. I can."  
  
"Xelloss...."  
  
"You want to fear me, don't you? That's it, isn't it?" Tapping on his chin thoughtfully, the demon peered at the bound creature before him, a slightly disjointed grin seeping across his face. "If you fear me, you will love me...."  
  
"X-Xelloss...." The chimera was cut off by a stinging slap, and when he looked back up the demon was leaning in close, his voice a twisted hiss full of cruel intentions.  
  
"You....will...love me...."  
  
**********************  
  
Lina had lost her patience. She hadn't had much to begin with, and every second was eating away just a bit more. Statue-still, she stared into the camp's fire lost in thought, ignoring the polite/worried/confused conversation of her traveling companions. Suddenly, she looked up.  
  
"He's taken him home."  
  
The others looked up from their conversation; it was the first words the sorceress had spoken since the kidnapping. Amelia ventured hesitantly, "Home?"  
  
"Home. That's the only place he could take him, isn't it?" Her ruby eyes had never left the fire, and the flames' reflection danced sedately in them. "He obvious has an obsession with him; he wouldn't kill him. He'd have taken him home."  
  
"But there's no way for us to get there, is there? Not without him taking us, that is," the dragon whispered, the cold chill of resignation running through her veins. "But he can't be lost...we'll get him back..."  
  
"Cheerful words, but your heart's not in it," Lina mumbled, sparing her a split-second glance before returning to her silent reverie.  
  
***********************  
  
It seemed as though he had been trapped here for an eternity. But he hadn't been, of course.  
  
Eternity couldn't last this long.  
  
He'd started counting the days by the hours he managed to stay conscious. So far he'd rung up forty-six waking hours which meant...what, exactly? It meant he'd been conscious for near on to two days now, but he had no way of tracking the time he'd been out cold. Footsteps to the right. He stilled.  
  
"Feeling well today, my angel?" The word seemed sick coming from the mazokou's lips.  
  
"Feeling wonderful," came the wearily croaked reply. Was that his voice? Gods, it sounded awful.  
  
"Glad to hear it, angel." Kneeling next to the battered chimera, Xelloss reached out a hand, long claws lightly scraping across the stone cheek. "Do you love me?"  
  
"..."  
  
The demon growled, and his hand flashed out with a jarring slap. "Answer me!"  
  
"....if I...say 'yes'...will you let...me go?"  
  
The scowl deepened, then dissolved into a grin as the laughter rose up. "If you say 'yes,' my love, then I'll keep you here with me forever."  
  
"...and if I...say 'no'?"  
  
In a flash, the frown returned and Xelloss leaned forward close enough so that their lips nearly touched. "If you say 'no,' then I shall keep you here until you finally do love me."  
  
Zelgadis sighed exhaustedly, shifting a little in his cumbersome bondage of chains. Dulled blue eyes met the amethyst ones for a moment, then closed as he looked away in resolute silence.  
  
Xelloss didn't react at first, then he leaned forward to nuzzle against the fatigued boy's neck in a rare display of affection, lips lightly kissing up the sweat-slicked stone jaw. A smile crossed his lips as he felt the shudder run through the weary frame and he pressed on, moving up to bite gently at the pointed tip of his ear. "Tell me you love me, my beautiful one," his voice whispered coaxingly. By now he was merely fighting for a reaction from the despondent creature, and when none was forthcoming he raised a hand to grip the slender throat, nails digging in cruelly as he squeezed. "Tell me you love me!" The soft voice was now a hiss as he jerked Zelgadis's head around so that their eyes met. "Tell me! You're afraid of me...you love me...tell me!"  
  
Cracked blue lips parted somewhat, and the demon's eyes lit up in hope...hope which was quickly depressed as he realized it was only a gasp for air. The chimera's eyes were glassy, hopeless; his face was a porcelain mask - so delicious to look at, so easy to break. The demon stood once more, smoothing out his cloak with the palms of his hands.  
  
"I see," was all he said before he turned on a heel and disappeared in mid- step.  
  
*************************  
  
"This is getting us nowhere!" Amelia wasn't sure what frustrated her more; the fact that Lina was taking so long or the fact that Lina was taking this course of action. Pacing back and forth, she was finally stopped by Filia's hand on her shoulder.  
  
"I don't like this any more than you do, but there's nothing else that can be done. It's the only course of action that makes sense....er...even if it doesn't truly make sense."  
  
"Both of you help, or shut up," Lina growled as she concentrated on the lines of the magic circle she was constructing. Finally finished, she stood and tossed the chalk aside as she removed the magic-enhancing jewel from her belt. "This will work, okay? If not, then we'll think of something else."  
  
"But... Miss Lina... I mean...isn't demon summoning really dangerous? We don't even have anything to bind him with, even if we do manage to get him here," Amelia wailed plaintively, trying to talk sense into the determined sorceress.  
  
"We have this," Lina pointed out, holding up the red jewel.  
  
"And that is...?" Filia began politely.  
  
"This is," the firey girl grinned, "A jewel to enhance magical ability, given to me by Xelloss himself."  
  
"You threatened him, actually, Lina."  
  
"Shut up, Gourry. It's made from demon's blood - and I'm willing to bet it's made from Xelloss's own blood." Lina shrugged. "Either way, it's something to start with, unless any of you have better ideas."  
  
They all shook their heads.  
  
"Thought so." She placed the jewel in the center of the magic circle, then stepped clear of it, clearing her throat. "So....uh...let's get started then. Everyone ready?"  
  
"I'm ready, Miss Lina."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"Uh...."  
  
"Oh, my! This looks interesting!"  
  
Everyone turned, jaws agape, to stare at Xelloss who stood just behind them. All smiles, he stood leaning unperturbedly against his staff as though all was right with the world. "Goodness...what are we all doing here looking so-" He was cut off as a fireball hit him quite squarely in the face. Slightly singed, he shifted a little and changed staff hands. "Okay. I supposed I deserved that."  
  
"You're damn right you deserved that, you backstabbing kidnapper!" Lina advanced upon him in a fury, eyes blazing as she grabbed onto his collar. "What the hell are you doing outside the circle?! Get in there!" She shoved him roughly in the direction of the circle, and the mazokou complied without protest.  
  
Stepping into the circle, he picked up the jewel and examined it offhandedly. "Really, Miss Lina...is this how you deal with priceless gems?"  
  
"It's supposed to bind you to do whatever we say," she started smugly, before realizing how extremely unaffected the demon was by the circle.  
  
"Ah. Interesting. However, I do believe I gave it to you - after many hostile words, I might add - so it is indeed yours; mine no longer." He tossed the stone back to her, and she caught it reflexively.  
  
"But...and...it's....I thought..."  
  
"No, it's not my blood, Miss Lina. I'm afraid the previous owner of that blood is currently resting in relative peace wherever it is that we go to....rest."  
  
"Oh. Er." She looked back to the others for help, then her fury seemed to make its way to the surface once again. "Where's Zelgadis, you bastard!? What have you done with him?!"  
  
"He's right here, actually," the mazokou smiled. Extending an arm, his cloak opened a swish to reveal the battered shaman lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. He stepped passively to the side as the others rushed in, Filia and Amelia muttering healing spells under their breath as Gourry stood guard, just in case Xelloss decided to make a move. He didn't.  
  
"Why did you do this?" Lina demanded, teeth clenched with fury.  
  
"I made a mistake, is all," Xelloss commented, almost sadly, as he watched the two girls working tiny miracles with the assaulted chimera.  
  
"Mistake? Oh, I'll say you made a mistake alright. Now get out of my sight before I have to attack you and get myself killed."  
  
Tired purple eyes settled back on the sorceress for a moment, and Lina thought he was going to remonstrate, but he simply nodded and disappeared without another word.  
  
********************  
  
Nearly two months had passed since Zelgadis was returned, and not a sign of the mazokou had been seen. Zelgadis himself was startlingly quiet, but the others figured that to be normal, what with all he had been through and all. He fought amazingly, spoke little, and showed about as much emotion has a tree.  
  
The others knew he'd been through a lot. He would heal in time.  
  
********************  
  
Xelloss smiled in disjointed amusement through the eyes of the doll he'd made. It was almost too perfect; the others saw it as nothing more than their slightly-more-traumatized-than-usual chimera. He had to wonder how long it would take them to figure it out.  
  
********************  
  
And in the blackness of Xelloss's domain, in the darkness of the perpetual void, a shadow of a soul shivered in its cumbersome bondage of chains. Dry, cracked lips moved soundlessly in a silent, broken, hopeless plea.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
********************************************************  
  
  
  
  
  
God, I am a twisted bitch. XD But you love me, right? I mean...when I said it would be a happy ending, I didn't mean... "happy," just technically so. Er. For some involved. Well, for one involved, at least. I really need mental help. So anyway, thanks a million to all who commented and let me know this crap was being read - you're the jiggle in my wiggle, sweeties. Next Slayers fic; the final chapter to CyberSin (god only knows when I'll get that one finished...). Thanks, all youse guys! 


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